I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
