I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize