I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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