Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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