pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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