There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
