marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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