Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
