Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
