After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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