he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
