Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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