Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
