i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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