I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
