I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
