Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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