It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
