i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
