Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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