I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
