Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
