just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
