1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize