Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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