Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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