How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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