Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
