Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize