idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
