I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
