I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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