i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
