I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
