i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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