I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
