I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
