party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
