Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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