wat bout pragnant strippers??
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
