We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
