the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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