It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
just tell him i said nine months
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
