D3 body, D1 cock
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
