my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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