Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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