You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
