you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
