um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
