you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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