According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
