Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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