He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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