I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
