I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
