how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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