Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I puked a lego.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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