i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
