i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
