actually, I'm a sock model
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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