I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
