So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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